.Friday, September 23, 2005 ' 9/23/2005 08:55:00 PM Y
GREEN ♥
edited**[i do not care if youu are going to be angry with me forever for writing this. i do not care even if this costs our friendship but i just want youu to know the facts and how exactly i feel. this shouldnt be happening to us when this is just a small misunderstanding like a deflated balloon but right now, it has appeared to be a balloon which may burst anytime due to the reason that it has been blown too big.]why is this happening to me again? did i do something wrong to deserve this? why must youu be like that? trust is the thing which is needed in all types of relationships. but youu donnt seem to trust that person at all. if youu do, youu wouldnt mind that person's actions as much as what youu are doing now. if the friendship which i had built with youu for more than 8months could be crashed by a small little problem like that, i donnt think what youu had in me was trust. i donnt know. if youu really like that person, trust in him/her. donnt doubt his/her actions. one fact which i certainly know is that he/she is not someone who can easily have such strong feelings for someone. youu are that someone whom he/she really likes. i guess, in that person's whole lifetime till now, he/she only liked 2 person seriously and one was A and the other is youu. what i really wanna say is that if youu donnt trust that person like how youu are supposed to be, donnt be with him/her, because this would only hurt the both of youu. i donnt care if youu get what i mean but i hope youu'll understand me. i donnt want our strong friendship to go down the drain. do youu know how much exactly it hurts when i felt this? and how much it hurts when i found out from someone else that what i felt was a fact? why cannt i have the both of youu as friends? i know i cannt have the best out of the world but what i want is simply just the both of youu as my friends who can stay by me? but right now, it just seems that i can only choose one of youu out. i guess i've chose youu. but i think, we will not be able to get back to the past, like just 1 month ago, when we are still talking happily on the phone, crapping. i know that youu wonnt have the same amount of trust youu used to have in me anymore and i guess i wonnt too. since youu found back that friend whom youu think is much better than me. i guess i'll let everything go through the way which God has planned for the 3 of us. if He planned for me to only be friends with he/she, i'll just let it be. because all i know is that, i still love youu two as my sisters/brothers. and i wonnt ever like that person whom youu think i would in my entire lifetime. the only way i'll love that person would be as a bro/sis. thatts all. if youu still donnt trust me, i wonnt further much do anything to make youu trust me and i just wanna end this off saying that i'll still be there for youu when youu need and donnt and that i'll still be praying daily for youu to always stay happy. tcares. =)
