heyys.
okayys.
i forgot the last time i blogged. heh.

i haven been in the best of moods these days.
lost my temper quite a lot of times.
to those whom i vent my anger on, i'm sorry. i didnt mean it.

sigh. i didnt want all these to happen but i just cannt seem to be able to control myself.
i want to say sorry to those whom i have hurt during this period of time.
but somehow, i cannt bring myself to.
i'm sorry.
i feel so.. small.
i cannt even so something so simple.

today. had council photo-taking.
quite alrightts. heh.
ours was in the garden. ha.
good. then nobody can see.
stupid becca and chrystal saw. sigh. nvm. heh.
tomorrow, have to stay for cca photo.
hmmm.

i guess i'm going to study soon.
tcares all. =)

*i feel so small. God, please bless me. i just donnt seem to be able to concentrate well. i know i should be but somehow, i cannt. no matter how i force myself to, i just donnt seem to be able to do it. please bless me with the strength to be able to study, the mindset to focus. thanks youu.*

heyys.
okayys.
everything is alright le.
but.
i think something bad is going to happen anytime.

can youu guys just stop doing all these? youu guys are just doing this for fun right? why? is it really that fun to disturb someone? can't youu guys just show her some respect? no matter what, she's youu guys friend! she's really very angry and tired of all these le. i know its really not my business. but have youu guys ever seen youur own good friend feeling so hurt that she does not know what to do? it really hurts me la. seeing my friend suffering. she's all tired. she donnt even have appetite over this. she's angry when youu guys mention that thing. and not those kind of feelings like guilty. she liking her* is over. that was the past. they donnt have that kind of feelings for each other le. just let them off. its not fun at all.

okay. i shall stop talking about it. i'm tired already.
tcares.

edited**
[i do not care if youu are going to be angry with me forever for writing this. i do not care even if this costs our friendship but i just want youu to know the facts and how exactly i feel. this shouldnt be happening to us when this is just a small misunderstanding like a deflated balloon but right now, it has appeared to be a balloon which may burst anytime due to the reason that it has been blown too big.]

why is this happening to me again? did i do something wrong to deserve this? why must youu be like that? trust is the thing which is needed in all types of relationships. but youu donnt seem to trust that person at all. if youu do, youu wouldnt mind that person's actions as much as what youu are doing now. if the friendship which i had built with youu for more than 8months could be crashed by a small little problem like that, i donnt think what youu had in me was trust. i donnt know. if youu really like that person, trust in him/her. donnt doubt his/her actions. one fact which i certainly know is that he/she is not someone who can easily have such strong feelings for someone. youu are that someone whom he/she really likes. i guess, in that person's whole lifetime till now, he/she only liked 2 person seriously and one was A and the other is youu. what i really wanna say is that if youu donnt trust that person like how youu are supposed to be, donnt be with him/her, because this would only hurt the both of youu. i donnt care if youu get what i mean but i hope youu'll understand me. i donnt want our strong friendship to go down the drain. do youu know how much exactly it hurts when i felt this? and how much it hurts when i found out from someone else that what i felt was a fact? why cannt i have the both of youu as friends? i know i cannt have the best out of the world but what i want is simply just the both of youu as my friends who can stay by me? but right now, it just seems that i can only choose one of youu out. i guess i've chose youu. but i think, we will not be able to get back to the past, like just 1 month ago, when we are still talking happily on the phone, crapping. i know that youu wonnt have the same amount of trust youu used to have in me anymore and i guess i wonnt too. since youu found back that friend whom youu think is much better than me. i guess i'll let everything go through the way which God has planned for the 3 of us. if He planned for me to only be friends with he/she, i'll just let it be. because all i know is that, i still love youu two as my sisters/brothers. and i wonnt ever like that person whom youu think i would in my entire lifetime. the only way i'll love that person would be as a bro/sis. thatts all. if youu still donnt trust me, i wonnt further much do anything to make youu trust me and i just wanna end this off saying that i'll still be there for youu when youu need and donnt and that i'll still be praying daily for youu to always stay happy. tcares. =)

heyys.
donnt really feel like blogging but i shall.
hmmm.
quite lots of stuffs happened these days but i donnt really wanna mention them.
getting lazy le.
hmmm. what shall i say.
since tuesday, our class started selling stuffs at stall 9. ha.
well. i guess we din make much since not much ppl stayed back. sigh.
hmmm. today stayed back for a while.
then went over to blk 85 for lunch. but i din take anything.
and i took a cab home since it was raining.

she may have left, but she hopes the best from youu. i donnt exactly know how youure feeling but i guess most probably sad? but i just want to tell youu that no matter what happens, i'll be here for youu even if youu really want to cry. tcares and strive to the best even if youu are going through the toughest time cos god and i will be here. =) tell me when youu need and even if youu donnt, i hope youu would still tell me as the promise youu made with me. tcares.

heyys.
i guess today's entry would be long. ha.
i'll start from last friday.
woke up at like 9plus.
i was so freaking tired la.
then went over to tanah merah inter to meet ivana and mavis.
as usual, i was the earliest. ha.
then we went over to harbourfront to take cable car.
to go sentosa.
hahaha.
we learnt a whole lot there la.
donnt really wanna elaborate.
then we took cable car again. haha.
then during the last cable car trip, ivana and i got so high we started to jump. haha.
we were like waving to the ppl we see.=)
mav was so scared that she called us to stop it.
cos the cable car was shaking. hahaha.
then we went over to chinese garden at about 4.
couldnt find jolena. but well.
the food there sucks. bleah.
the theme for this year is like.. dinosaur?
whatt a rubbish theme. sigh.
i guess last year's was better? haha.
then we left at almost 8pm.

today. first day of school.
nothing special actually.
we went over to the history and geog rooms for cca.
i'm sorry to say this but, i shall say.
i slept when lao shi was showing the movies.
heh.
i was too tired la.
then after cca.
the rain was so freaking big that i was looking for maxine and aurey so frantically.
cos then i can see how i should go home. since maxine stays so near me? ha.
then waited for quite long then i saw them. ha.
my bag is not water-proof. its cloth type.
so if i just walk in the rain, my papers will be like wet la. ha.
then i thought of a idea.
guess what it was?
oi thought of leaving our bags in class!! haha.
i got extra geog book at home so i donnt need to bring back any books.
so yupps. we agreed on it then we went to 2/7 and put them. ha.
then we saw eunice, chandni and their senior.
they decided to put together. so we put lo. haha.
so i left my bag in class and brought with me only 55 cents and my tee. heh.
so here i am. at home. hahahahha.

so happy. had fun. but somehow, wasnt in the exact mood to play in the rain just now.
hmmmm.
guess i'll be going off soon.
tcares all. =)

heyys.
woke up at 10 and found out that i'm still very sleepy.
no choice. i had to wake up.
i told steph i would leave house at 11am to meet her at 28 bus stop.
ended up, i called her and we met at tanah merah nter.
before going out. [mother bringing me out]
saw my godma and godbro and my little nephew.
heh.
went out with them instead. then my godbro fetched me over to the station.
then left. he so kawaii !! heh.
got a photo and 2 videos of him. named ryan. =)

met steph and geokling.
then we went over to simei and had lunch. all of us got so freaking full la. ha.
then we went over to popular then got some materials to do history project. heh.
hmm. then decided to take 9 cos simei got no direct bus to steph's house.
but..
we took the wrong 9 on the wrong side. ha.
then ended up at SAF ferry terminal. hehe.
then this security lady came up and asked us for our passes cos the bus will lead to the cargo.
hmm. then we got off.
so dumbass. due to a dumbass. ha! [youu know who youu are]
hmmm.
ended up took cab straight over to steph's house. ha.
7.50? hai.
so ex sia.
told my sister. she say i siao. heh.

now at her house. doing our work.
yupps. so going off le. =)

there are times when life does not go the way we want. but youu know what? we'll always be tehre for youu. she'll definitely be there too. there may be obstructions and whatsoever. maybe god is just putting youu guys in a test. things will go on the way you want later. but, you must know this too. god created things to make life easier for us. he may have created things difficult for us. because, he wanted us to test us to see if we belong to his kingdom. it maybe very pain and difficult to go through, but all the rewards will be there later. its okayys if *she and *he disagrees. stand strong. *she may understand latre when the right time comes. if *she really loves you, *she'll let youu do what youu really like and want to. so i guess. right now, just prayer to god and hope everything goes on fine for you.=) tcares and i'll always be there for youu =)

heyys.
yesterday. hmm.
whatt did i do? haha.
went for tuition then went to get mochi ice-cream. ha.
my fav.
went hme and started watching tv. heh.
then had dinner.
had tuition after thatt.

today. woke up at about 11am? haha.
but still not enough sleep.
just cannt get backk to sleep so woke up and watch tv.
hehe.
waited for my dearest sister.
called her but she didnt bring her phone to school.
wanted her to get some stuffs for me.
ended up she came home at like.. 2pm?
she bought honey red tea for me! heh.
my fav again.
then borrowed my friend's laptop.
they studying downstairs and im here playing. hehe!
i'm so nice rightt.
gonna study ltr.

1 month after school reopen is the eoy alr.
hai.
how can time pass so fast?
i guess i will have at least a red mark in my progress this time. i failed my history.
sigh.
the previous i didnt have any lo.
nvm.
okayys. shall rest soon. and study. =)

tcares all. enjoy youur holiday then after this, the battle starts. hai. we'll strive together. lt's hope we get to the same class agin. -smiles.

heyys.
went golfing and swimming at laguna with jolena on thursday. ha.
last played golf was like 2 months ago?
it went alrightts i guess but was quite lousy.
now arm pain. heh.

went to school on friday. ha. time passed quite quickly.
after school went around then finally had lunch at the canteen.
had hor fun. yummy.
then went to history room for last rehearsal for the p6 publicity. ha.
had macs for dinner. ha.
on the bus, everyone started tying their hair.
everyone's to tie their hair in the esplanade way
then reached ccps and thats the start of our publicity.
we started at 8pm.
i fumbled over my words. ha.
well. it went quite smoothly i guess. ha.

hmmm. today woke up at like 9 at first cos somebody's message woke me up.
then i went back to sleep. too lazy to reply. ha.
woke up at 10.30 again. my teacher said to have tuition at 1. ha.
and i went back to sleep. ended up waking up at 12.30.
no breakfast so my dearest sister cooked for me!
ha.
so nice of her.
then had tuition. finished more than 1/2 of my holz hw.
after that, read my compre book cos i was too bored. ha.

now waiting for my sister to come back from eastpoint.
going for dinner after that. yay!
i needa exercise more le.
sigh.

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