i expected you to be by me when it happened.but you chose to be with her.are you still the one i know?or were you always like that?maybe i dont know you at all.maybe i mistook you for another.did i actually treat you badly that you've decided to do this to me?you didnt bother to understand what happened and the real reason why i cried.the words you said and the expression you gave me really hurt me.can you imagine me doing that to you?maybe you didnt know what you did.i just dont wish you to be the one i'm thinking now cos it would mean that you're the worst person i've ever met.understanding and standing by me was the least i expected from you and not giving me sarcastic remarks like what you did.giving you chances was the only thing i could do and what i alway do.but what you're always doing are that you took me for granted and you only come to me when you need help.you just seem to be treating me like rubbish.someone told me that you're someone who cant be trusted but i chose to not listen to her and trust you.i guess i should have listened to her because i really regretted trusting you.reason:you disappointed me again and again...

finally.
i've decided to blog.
wanted to move it but well,i was too lazy to do it.
what can you expect from me?ha.school has been..alright?i guess..lots and lots and lots of stuffs happened within these 2 short months.all these have changed my way of looking at my life.things happened and changed me.to someone i hate.i dont like myself.i dont like the way i bring myself.i keep asking myself why.lots and lots of whys.i couldnt answer myself.therefore i've decided to start my whole life again.starting it again gave me a very refreshing feeling.it feels..totally great.it was a tough decision.because i have to think of the consequences i have to face.but now,i dont regret it at all.i'm having fun.2 days ago,i was still the girl lost,feeling numb.but right now,i'm back to the old one.=) this whole incident has made me feel more matured.how to face my problems and solve them.i feel more grown up now.

although these incidents happened,they made me realise who are my true friends.although i've found out those who betrayed me,i guess i no longer blame them.i cant stop them from backstabbing me and hating me.they are they.i cant possibly stop them from doing things i dont like.maybe ignoring their words or them is just one of the ways to make me feel happier than pondering over what they feel about me.if changing myself makes them feel happier and myself suffering,i rather choose to be myself.at least i feel good.=)

well.the old and happier huangchi is back.at least she is now.....

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